What Could Have Been
by hrhrionastar
Summary: AU--Lily and James survive Halloween 1981. Starts out Lily/James, but really it's Lily/Sev. Fun parody in script form.


What Could Have Been

**James**: I love you. Your beauty is like the light from a thousand suns, or the poetry of a moonlit Snitch, or the glory of a million successful pranks, or—

**Lily**: Tchah!

**James**: Go out with me, Evans!

**Lily**: Potter, you arrogant toerag! Leave me alone. I hate you.

…

**James**: I love you. My heart is at your feet. Go out with me, Evans!

**Lily**: We-ell, you're not **so** bad, and Sev needs punishing…I…I love you, too.

**James**: Oh, Lily, light of my life! Let's get married!

**Lily**: Um….OK. You're not too smart. I like that in a man.

…

**James**: What? You're pregnant?!? Already?

**Lily**: Let's call him Harry, and raise him not to be prejudiced against Muggle-borns, unlike persons who shall remain nameless (and shampoo-less).

**James**: What?

…

**James**: Look! He looks just like me! We're adorable! _Ruffles hair_.

**Lily**: We have to keep him safe because of that really inconvenient prophecy that might mean he's destined to defeat the greatest Dark wizard of all time.

**James**: What?

…

**James**: I'm bored. Let's do something reckless, like how at school me and my Animagus friends ran around with a werewolf once a month and almost got expelled that time…and that other time…and that **other **time…

**Lily**: I always disproved of that. You were such a jerk at school. I miss Sev. He always understood me… _sigh_

**James**: _not listening_ Come on! Let's do something dangerous!

**Lily**: Dumbledore still has your Invisibility Cloak, sweetie.

**James**: Even he couldn't disapprove of us taking Harry to see his godfather!

…

**Sirius**: Thank Godric you're safe!

**James** and **Lily**: What?

**Sirius**: Peter betrayed us, the two-timing snotrag. Voldemort destroyed your house less than an hour ago in a rage. We only heard about it because Rita Skeeter sent out a Quick Quotes broadcast over the radio in your neighborhood. Dumbledore reckons now he'll keep searching for you, but there's also the Longbottom kid.

**James**: Are you sure about this? We should find Remus and apologize for doubting him, then go and murder Peter!

**Sirius**: I don't know. I'm betting my cousin Bellatrix Lestrange has already tortured him into insanity for making Voldemort a laughingstock.

**Lily**: What about our poor cat? At least Harry's safe. Sirius, will you be our Secret-Keeper this time and NOT betray us, or should I owl one of MY old school friends?

**James**: We can trust Sirius, darling. Even if he did try to kill Snivellus that time. After all, it was only **Snivellus**.

**Lily**: _glare_.

…

**James**: Stop worrying. Now that Voldemort's disappeared off the face of the planet when he was vanquished by a tiny baby—a Longbottom, no less—we're safe. Merlin, I'm bored.

**Lily**: Where are you going?

**James**: Out.

…

**Lily**: What is this? I saw you with Mary McDonald; how could you, James?

**James**: Mary's cute. I didn't mean anything…

**Lily**: You cheated on me!

**James**: I'm sorry, Lily. I still love you!

**Lily**: I'm taking Harry and we're going. You arrogant toerag, Potter! _Storms out._

**James**: What's with her?

…

**James**: Lily, I'm sorry! I love you! Lily!

**Lily**: Get out.

**James**: What's he doing here?

**Lily**: Don't talk about Sev like that.

**James**: Death Eaters NEVER change their spots, Lily! Him not being evil…it would be like if Sirius's cousin Bellatrix adopted twins from an underprivileged country! Muggle-born twins!

**Severus**: Don't be silly, Potter. _Smiles happily_. So, how have you been?

**Lily**: _displaying ring to James_ We're getting married!

**James**: He's—you're—what? Are you out of your mind? And what about my son—!

**Lily**: He'll be such a good father figure to Harry, won't you, Sev? Don't worry, James: Harry can still visit with you, when you're not too busy.

**Severus**: Harry's adorable. He has your eyes.

**Lily**: You still love me?

**Severus**: I've always loved you, Lily.

**Lily**: Even when you called me a Mudblood that time in fifth year?

**Severus**: I only said it because you didn't seem to care about me anymore, and being nasty is the only way to survive Slytherin House.

**Lily**: Sev, I want you to know: I forgave you.

**Severus**: Oh, Lily! I love you!

**Lily**: And I love you! _Passionate kiss. James leaves in disgust._

**James**: _outside _But I love you! I…oh, whatever.

The End


End file.
